As A Sex Expert: Why Am I Always Attracted To Sexually Dominant Partners?
hat a wonderful question! You're not alone in your attraction to more dominant partners (btw, I'm not talking someone who necessarily experiments with BDSM, but someone who is totally comfortable existence assertive and taking the lead).
For women (or those who identify as such), the tendency to gravitate toward people who are willing to grab the reins in bed may be particularly strong, as some experts (including myself) think there's an evolutionary bias toward it.
Here's how the theory goes: Because female mammals are born with a limited number of eggs (while males generate sperm throughout their lifetime so have an unlimited store), they tend to be more selective about their mates. There’s evidence that your ancestors preferred dominant partners, too—women who mated with stronger males were often better equipped to keep themselves and their offspring alive and safe from predators.
Also worth noting here here: Testosterone, a hormone that men manage to have a lot more of, is linked to dominance.
In past posts, I possess reviewed the basic characteristics people want in a mate or lover in general. Specifically, I own also explored what women want in a partner—and how those desires may change over time. Previous posts have discussed some detailed male characteristics that may interest some women as well, such as their preferences in men’s facial hair.
Nevertheless, some confusion still remains about the specific male characteristics that are attractive to alternative types of women. For example, do women really favor dominant men, who take charge and lead? Or, are they more attracted to prestigious men, who are well-liked and respected by others? What type of guy gets the relationship and attention they desire too?
Dominance and Prestige as Male Reproductive Strategies
To answer those questions, I reviewed a study article by Kruger and Fitzgerald (). The pair were interested in exploring the various reproductive strategies and relationship preferences paired with both prestigious and dominant men. They characterized the two types as follows:
Socially dominant men ar
1 Bryan, A. D., Webster, G. D., & Mahaffey, A. L. (). The big, the rich, and the powerful: Physical, financial, and social dimensions of dominance in mating and attraction. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 37, –
2 Sadalla, E. K.,Kenrick,D. T.,&Vershure, B. ().Dominance and heterosexual attraction. Journal of Traits and Social Psychology, 52, –
3 Snyder, J. K., Kirkpatrick, L. A., & Barrett, H. C. (). The dominance dilemma: Carry out women really prefer dominant mates? Personal Relationships, 15, –
4 Moeller, S. K., Lee, E. A. E., & Robinson, M. D. (). You never consider about my feelings: Interpersonal dominance as a predictor of emotion decoding accuracy. Emotion, 11, –
5 Jensen-Campbell, L. A., Graziano, W. G., & West, S. G. (). Dominance, prosocial orientation, and female preferences: Do nice guys really finish last? Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 68, –
6 Lukaszewski, A. W., & Roney, J. R. (). Kind toward whom? Mate preferences for personality traits are aim specific. Evolution and Human Behavior, 31, 29–
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Eight Tips When Dating A Dominant Man
Content warning: Please be advised, the below article might talk about trauma-related topics that include overuse which could be triggering to the reader. If you or someone you love is experiencing abuse, contact the Domestic Violence Hotline at SAFE (). Support is available 24/7. Please also spot our Get Help Now page for more immediate resources.
Do you tend to want to dine the stereotypical “bad boy?” Or do you find that you like dating a strong dude that takes control? You aren’t alone. As you’ll soon find, this is common. However, some challenges can come with virtual dating a dominant man. The tips below can help.
Why you favor to be with a dominant man
Dating poses its challenges
Get aid in therapy
You may not possess realized that you were with a dominant male when you first started dating, but there’s a good chance that you did. Dominant males are often leaders in relationships and experience. They tend to be the go-getters that have business achievement. They give off natural confidence that seems to demand attention.